Grown Up

I have a guilty pleasure that doesn't involve rag mags, blogs, alcohol or the munchies.

I will rush home and quickly go over homework and feed the kiddos (if you can call Ramen noodles food) just to be able to watch The Real Housewives of Whatever City. Doesn't matter to me which City. It's all the same.

I don't dress like them...I don't live like them...I don't vacation like them...and I know I certainly don't behave with my "friends" like them (at least not since high school).

It's the drama and dysfunctional female relationships that are surely set up for viewer enjoyment that keep me watching. It's a trainwreck...it's a reality soap opera. Those women act like they are in highschool and I love it!

So I go on and enjoy....listening and watching them just like when I watch The Super Nanny...am so happy that my life in no way resembles theirs!

Earlier this evening I was preparing Ava for her Preschool Graduation which is tomorrow...she's been at her school since she was 16 months. I know it really hasn't sunken in...tomorrow she will be happy and sad...and when I attempted tonight to prepare her for her last day..she looked up at me and said "I don't want to grown up".

I thought of those women and highschool and I agreed with her....I don't want to "grown up" either and then I watched the trainwreck all over again!

Thinking too much

I suppose this feeling is nothing new. The more I travel the more and more I have these thoughts.

I am a worrier. I have OCD. I measure safety all the time. I am a type A personality. I make lists...lots of lists.

I have been this way my entire life.

Eight years ago this Mother's Day weekend...I became a MOTHER! Everything that I am tripled!

I think about mortality all the time...but not so much in the sense of "I hope my children and husband know that I loved them" "I hope I was a good mother"...more like...I hope to GOD my husband remembers that Ava's recital is at the end of the month along with her pre-school graduation and Eli's last day of school is on the 26th and he has Fun Day and it's Free Dress!

Will he know how much is left on the daycare card...lunch card...that they have a dentist appointment and Ava needs a physical before August? Will he brush Ava's hair? I should have shown him how to braid hair.

Does he know my passwords for my email accounts, Facebook, Paypal, Blogger, Photobucket?

I am consumed. Time to pack my bags and make my lists.

Then I remember...I think too much!

Confessions

Forgive me Lord for I have sinned.

I sent my children to Catholic School so I wouldn't have to take them to CCD.



I have coveted my neighbors beautifully styled hair and emmaculate fingernails.

I have murdered a trout, a ficus tree and the nastiest looking insect known to man.



I have lied to my boss, my children, my mother and myself.

I have stolen creative ideas, Splenda packets and the extra toilet paper rolls from hotels.






I am not a good Catholic. I am not the best mother. I'm an even worse wife.

These are my sins. Please forgive me Lord.



My darling son made his First Confession in preparation for his First Holy Communion which was today.

I am thankful for his religion, his morality, his innocence and his faith.



His sins are few.

Mine are not.

But I am working on them.....one confession at a time.